Are you prepared to do battle with another contest and win the hand of Lisa Ann? Oh you better be.
Not that we’re playing favorites, but Lisa Ann inspires us in ways few others can. She’s won America’s hearts (and genitals) with her Sarah Palin prowess, but she’s also a golden girl in tons of other markets: MILF porn, interactive porn, huge tit porn, and POV porn in Santa gear, to name a few.
We figured it’s about time to give back to the woman who’s given so much to us. How? First, watch this video of Lisa and Julia Ann getting soaked, and then…
Write an ode to Lisa Ann. You can do it however you like: poems, flash fictions, and confessions are all accepted here. For example:
Her masterpiece smile
was painted wry and private:
Mona Lisa Ann
And that came from the heart.
Post your entries in the comments section. A week from now, we’ll post the winning ode, and the author will receive a free copy of Wet. Good deal, right?
We still have to hold up our end of the bargain. Last week’s contest produced some pretty astounding superheroes. All of the entries were certainly Stan Lee-worthy, and would undoubtedly make for some interesting hentai (future job, anyone?).
Once again, Beaker’s work deserves mention: his Muffin Man and Wanker Woman would be the perfect poster children for a (very loose) safe sex campaign.
I personally felt a strong connection with doomsaber’s villain: Penile Justice’s arch nemesis, Bukkakia, is a former russian kgb spy who feeds off the seed of man. By performing sexual deeds (jerking off) to her victims and swallowing or being covered w/ their seed, Bukkakia has the ability to control any man she desires. Can’t you see Bukkakia making a guest appearance in “Alexis Texas Is Buttwoman”?
But only one superhero can save our world from lonely nights and Barry Manilow, and that superhero is MalzyWheels, aka Sparky Joystick:
Malzywheels – By day a mild-mannered, disappointingly sexless disabled guy in a wheelchair who never garnishes a second look.
By night he becomes Sparky Joystick – A human electrified dildo who can find any Gräfenberg spot, no matter how elusive it is.
To maintain his superhuman stamina, Sparky Joystick requires a inhuman number of Kahlua sombreros, big, jiggly tits, and a electric wheelchair battery charger.
Not many things sap Sparky Joystick’s power, but his mortal enemies all know that any song sung by Barry Manilow will turn this hero, sent from the Eros Nebula, into a puddle of mush.
The night has a thousand orgasms. All hail Sparky Joystick.
All hail, indeed. We’re not sure what a “human electrified dildo” looks like, but we’re glad to have one around. Congratulations, MalzyWheels! We’ll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.
· Photo of literary Lisa Ann via The Lisa Ann (thelisaann.com)
