November 28, 2009 | 8 Comments

Save The World, Enter The “Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1″ Contest

We may be a day late, but we haven’t forgotten our promises: every week a new winner and a new contest.

Since our beloved superheroes, Ava Rose, Nikki Rhodes, and Monica Mayhem, are busy with their own Super Friends Fuckfest, we’re going to need some fresh crime fighters to take their places. We don’t really have the time for trust-building and demonstrations of superhuman feats; we can only judge heroes by their names. That’s where you come in.

Turn yourself into a superhero, complete with alias, strengths, and weaknesses. When you run into the phone booth, who comes out? We promise not to reveal your secret identity. As a show of good faith, I’ll let you know my alter-ego:

By day, mild-mannered blogger Ottimo Massimo trolls the internet for nudie pics… But at night, he is Massimorph: the mild-mannered blogger whose penis can transform into any sex toy on the market!

We’re not going to force you to make the superhero name sex-centric, but this is Fleshbot, the name should be somewhat erotically-aligned. (And yes, you can present it in limerick form if you’d like.)

Post your entries in the comments section. Next week, we’ll give our favorite hero or heroine a brand new copy of Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1!

For now, we’ll have to stave off next week’s fantasy with last week’s fixation.

As always, many thanks to everyone who entered; you all definitively proved your dedication to large breasts. The only exception would be Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man, whose declaration of admiration for miniscule mammaries will surely earn him a spot on the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (it was, nonetheless, a beautiful and moving speech).

Many props go to SexyHard for still repping the limericks, and also for pointing out that breasts are also enjoyed by their owners:

Lynn loves when I suck on her tits.
She cums when I nibble her nips.
They shake and they wobble
As I lick and gobble
Them up like two succulent clits.

But the grand prize goes to Beaker! All four of his haiku were grand, and you should go back and check the others out, but here’s one that captures the overall tone:

The poker player
Is in a quandary now.
Two pair … huge … she wins!

Ah yes, large boobs do win. And so do you. Congratulations, Beaker! We’ll be contacting you through your profile page to let you know how to claim your prize.

· Monica Mayhem, superhoney of “Girlfriend Vignettes, Vol. 1,” via Be The Mask (bethemask.com)

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Author:Ottimo Massimo

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  • riffleraffle

    Is that pic from one of those “Fuck the Fans” sites where Amateur guys supposedly bang porn stars? Is any of that shit for real or are they all pros?

  • Anonymous

    Sam Morgan simply rearranges his name to become – Orgasm Man. The ultimate satisfaction for the ladies, his only weakness is UglyGirlUhOh! Luckily he always has his beautiful sidekick SheWhoSwallows who brings out his Hard On Of Justice!

  • MalzyWheels

    Malzywheels – By day a mild-mannered, disappointingly sexless disabled guy in a wheelchair who never garnishes a second look.

    By night he becomes Sparky Joystick – A human electrified dildo who can find any Gräfenberg spot, no matter how elusive it is.

    To maintain his superhuman stamina, Sparky Joystick requires a inhuman number of Kahlua sombreros, big, jiggly tits, and a electric wheelchair battery charger.

    Not many things sap Sparky Joystick’s power, but his mortal enemies all know that any song sung by Barry Manilow will turn this hero, sent from the Eros Nebula, into a puddle of mush.

    The night has a thousand orgasms. All hail Sparky Joystick.

  • Beaker

    Johnson Grotto and Suzy Palmer lead ordinary lives – by day. By night they keep watch over the city as Muffin Man and Wanker Woman, The Diddling Duo! When alerted to fear and ignorance regarding mutual masturbation the Double D’s, as they are affectionately known, swoop in to teach techniques and provide first-hand guidance so that any couple may enjoy the fruits of friendly frottage. Sadly, their patrols are infrequent as they spend most nights honing their skills upon each other.

  • doomsaber

    A nerdy chemstry student who has a hard time picking up women, Max Johnson is no ordinary man. After receiving oral sex from his sultry MILF college professor, who in actuality is a being the mysterious race of sexual aliens called the fellatians, Max is endowed with super human strength. Powered by the strength of his erection, Max Johnson patrols the street of Lust City as Penile Justice. His weaknesses are immaure ejaculations (comming 5 minutes and below,) cold showers, liquor, and anything that would cause him to lose his erection.

    Fellow college classmate of Max, Alexia Luv is a busty and beautiful woman who works part time as the college news journalist. Because she is the affeciton of most men and women, alexia Luv is often the damsel in distress. Commonly captured and sexually tortured/pleasured by thugs and supervillians alike, she is often saved by Penile Justice. Although she cares not of Max Johnson’s crush for her, she is smitten by the heroic Penile Justices and his massive package.

    Penile Justice’sarch nemesis, Bukkakia, is a former russian kgb spy who feeds off the seed of man. By performing sexual deeds (jerking off) to her victims and shallowing or being covered w/ their seed, Bukkakia has the ability to control any man she desires.

  • Anonymous

    Placebo Man was once a sad fellow. Indeed. Now he’s confident enough to wear all but an inconspicuous pair of tighty whiteys which speak manly of his package, but only on sunny days where the see through nature of his costume is still wet but not as damp as it was probably hours before. He is a man of London town but so you’d understand he wouldn’t open his mouth to say anything. Instead he’d ask you by smiling like a dentist would and then you’d open yours. And his penis would do its best to make you feel better about all the bad teeth you’d see in a day. And he fill you up with the white stuff. Which has been the case ever since he filed suit against a female colleague that removed a placebo that had gotten stuck on a gold tooth.

    This was an outrageous suit said the judge, until Placebo Man popped one right there on the stand. The judge winked at him but could not pin point what it tasted like. Placebo Man shrugged and started off unto the streets of decay. That is until a barely legal girl pulled a tiny piece of a plastic stick and ran out after him. Placebo Man grew weary of his smile. But they just kept coming. Making you feel good is his game. But you have to be over 18 to play. Only then, can you truly enjoy his sweets!

  • Anonymous

    Placebo Man was once a sad fellow. Indeed. Now an inconspicuous pair of tighty whiteys speak manly of his package, but only on sunny days where the see through nature of his costume is still wet but not as damp as it was probably hours before. He is a man of London town but so you’d understand he wouldn’t open his mouth to say anything. Instead he’d ask you by smiling like a dentist would and then you’d open yours. And his penis would do its best to make you feel better about all the bad teeth you’d see in a day. And he fill you up with the white stuff. Which has been the case ever since he filed suit against a female colleague that removed a placebo that had gotten stuck on a gold tooth.

    This was an outrageous suit said the judge, referring to both the costume and the occasion. Placebo Man scanned the courtroom to make sure, and then popped one right there on the stand. The judge immediately knew she had something incredible on her hands but only giving a wink as to not inquire publicly any further. Placebo Man shrugged as he jotted her down for an appointment and then started off toward the streets of decay. The judge’s apprentice, a barely legal girl, suddenly dropped her stenographer’s equipment, pulled out a lollipop sized piece of a plastic stick and ran out after him. Unfortunately she had to memorize all there was to write home about. But this was different than what she had been used to before. You see, making people feel good was his game. But you have to be over 18 to enjoy his sweets! Even so, Placebo Man grew weary of his smile. But they just kept coming.

  • Anonymous

    uhh, use the second one that i wrote .