Don’t Toss Us Away, Valeria

The cover of “Big Titted First Timers 7″ looks like a Lone Justice sex tape. Who is that woman with the 90′s hair and tan lines? Turns out it’s Valeria and this compilation is a trip to the 2257-exempt past.

You may have heard of the 2257 recordkeeping requirements that keep all legitimate porn studios on their toes with the mandate of maintaining scrupulous age verification and identification records. When they went into effect in 1995, it signaled, among other things, the dawn of a time when a fan could find all the movies his crush object had been in no matter what alias she used.

Unfortunately, this compilation features scenes from the early 90′s, as evidenced by the fashions, technology, and videotape haze of the proceedings. Not only that, but there is also no way of finding out whatever happened to this natural-breasted and clearly-over-18 beauty seen flopping around in the jacuzzzi with a dude who probably would not get too much work were he to be getting into the business today (only Eva Angelina is allowed to wear glasses).

NB: We are also treated to a scene with Dawn, who delicately takes out her false teeth whilst blowing a guy.

We hope you’re doing well, Valeria. You are now, at the very least, 32 years old. Mightn’t it be time for a cougar comeback?

· JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
· Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)

JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)
JM Productions (jerkoffzone.com)
Buy “Big Titted First Timers 7″ (gamelink.com)

  • Beaker

    I believe that tan lines are one of the sexiest things that a woman can wear. #dvd

  • mysterycellist

    Dear god, it’s Egon!

  • Gram Ponante

    Mystery Cellist (are you Yo Yo Ma?), thank you for a comment that made me spit my coffee. A little (I always leave the option open so I tend to aim away more or less reflexively).

    And yes, Beaker, I’m starting to agree with you. Heliophobia is doing away with tan lines (except in Brazil) and I miss them. I bet that Egon felt like he’d found the Undiscovered Country when Valeria’s two-tone bits were revealed to him. #dvd