“She’s Barely A MILF”: Faye Reagan Bridges The Gap

Kudos to Hustler for creating the first porn niche since “Just Turned 18 And Transssexual.” While scholars at Fleshbot West debate MILF terminology, one thing is clear: We would like to make Faye Reagan pregnant.


“I’m only 19 and now I’m pregnant. Why do guys not know how to pull out?” soliloquys Faye Reagan. “19 and a kid.”

Real life boyfriend Dane Cross comes over and comes on her face. “You won’t get pregnant now,” he says. And Scene.

Like the iPhone, there are a number of things blatantly wrong with this (to wit: Pregnancy is not like God – we don’t invent one if one doesn’t exist; Reagan has no baby bump whatsoever. Also, while she would undoubtedly qualify as a MILF once the baby went from inboard to outboard, the liberal world of pornography doesn’t believe that life begins at conception, so the title is misleading, unless the subtext is that Reagan already has a child and doesn’t want another at the ripe old age of 19), but we really do appreciate the effort.

I also like that they did it with the approval of Pharaoh.

Each of the other women in this collection, including Kira Silver, Patricia Petit, Gwen Diamond, and Starla Sterling, each has at least a bit of pooch in the stomach, enough to suggest without dialogue that there is a bun in the oven. But Reagan, the movie’s covergirl, looks about a million miles from pregnant (save for her glow).

“She’s Barely a MILF” arrives in stores later this month.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

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  • Anonymous

    I hope the lighting in these shots is not indicative of the overall quality of the video – terrible coloring; how to revel in Ms Reagan’s redheadedness? She’s a dishwater strawberry-blonde in these pictures…
    On the other hand I’ve not been quite so spurred to philosphico-biological perseveration by a titillation ploy in quite some time; is this mechanism too complex to get off on, or is that just me?

  • WalterPater

    I’ve spent so much time jerking off while thinking about Faye Reagan that it’s hard for me to believe she’s still a teenager.

  • Dubnacious

    Faye’s puffy nips are a dead giveaway.

    Kudos Hustler, another genius genre name.

  • MindTricked

    No.

  • Anonymous

    |grumbles| Dane Cross |grumbles|

  • Anonymous

    maybe its because she has that old, used look about her.

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    Normally when I’m in my Professorial guise, I’m VERY particular about the details of a post before I go ahead and make a comment. But right now, I’m about 9 ounces into a very nice bottle of Mclelland’s Islay Single Malt, so I don’t really care about standard operating procedure at this point.

    Therefore, I would be VERY appreciative if I could be indulged by having this post deciphered for me, by having my Fleshbot friends provide me with answers to my following questions:

    #1: Is Faye Reagan actually PREGNANT?!?

    - Normally, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but considering my particular distaste for the emo-douche Dane Cross, I must admit that I would NOT be pleased that Faye has successfully been impregnated by his “Panic At the Disco”-type spermatozoa.

    ALSO:

    #2: Does Faye Fuck a Tranny?

    - Normally*, I wouldn’t be interested in any of that pseudo homoerotic-type stuff (*okay, maybe sometimes I DO like hints of that stuff, but you DIDN’T HEAR IT FROM ME!). Anyways, regardless of what I normally would (or wouldn’t) watch, I would probably be interested in seeing Faye Reagan getting drilled by a T-Girl.

    –> Gram, seeing as you are basically the Ricardo Tubbs of the L.A. porn world, I expect that you will be able to arrange for such a porn shoot. With your connections, it shouldn’t be too difficult to make the necessary arrangements. I’m counting on you for this one.

    AND FINALLY:

    #3: How can we GET FAYE TO FUCK OTHER PEOPLE!

    You know, I’m a romantic at heart (well, maybe more of a “nu” romantic, like Duran Duran, but still). I kind of understand that maybe Douche, whoops, I mean Dane, is possibly a great guy, and that Faye could very well be deeply in love with him. But considering that Faye is an absolute goddess, and Dane is just an average tool, wouldn’t it be okay if Faye got a little more variety in terms of which PENII she absorbs? By letting more male performers fuck her, wouldn’t she widely increase her potential market base, and also attract new fans?

    As far as the regular hardcore market is concerned, she definitely has an edge, given her beautiful red hair, her gorgeous freckled complexion, her incredible body, and her relative “newness” to the field. Shouldn’t she take advantage of what opportunities are available at the present moment?

    ___________________________

    As always, Fleshbot, I await your responses.

    Eternally in your service,

    Prof. D.

  • Gram Ponante

    Faye is not pregnant (in this movie, anyway). She only says she is in dialogue, and thus the entire justification (nipples aside) for titling the movie thusly.

    And I need some clarification on the Ricardo Tubbs thing before I do anything for anybody. Whether a commenter is writing drunk or no, I am suspicious of the comparison. If I am Tubbs, who is the Crockett?

  • WalterPater

    @hodayathink: Stoya’s personal Android developer:

    The real question, of course, is whether scenes with trannies count as B/G.

  • auryn

    i can’t stop laughing. help!

  • Anonymous

    Maybe, by eluding to “Ricardo Tubbs,” he means that like the Renaissance man Philip Michael Thomas, you, Gram, can act, write, direct, AND compose and play music – brilliantly! Well, at least we know you write brilliantly… (And you must be very, very tan?) -TA

  • fragile

    just anal sex then?