February 18, 2009 | 9 Comments

Which Is Hotter? Porn Vs. "Rock The Cradle Of Love"

Remember when MTV still showed hot music videos that nurtured your young and confused porn obsession? Maybe that was just us. But anyway, help us decide which is hotter—The Porn or The Music Video.

The Porn:


The Music Video:


No, seriously. Can a music video get any hotter? The allusions to Devon’s “barely legal” status, Billy Idol’s voyeuristic presence in the Warhol-esque pop art, the “femme domme” archetype and the confused older gentleman who wants to say no, but can’t. You can probably tell what our vote is with.

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Author:Auryn Pendragon

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  • MalzyWheels

    The Adventures of Ford Fairlane ruled!

  • BeautifulAgony

    That video gave me a lot of masturbatory pleasure as a young woman! I had a huge crush on Devon, and imagined complex (but plausible!) scenarios where she visited me to use my tape player. :) Watching now, I still get all excited!

  • auryn

    i can pick between devon, the confused gentleman and billy idol! can i just have all of them at the same time, plz??

  • auryn

    ps. someone needs to write me some “rock the cradle of love” fan fic.

  • daprincess

    it feels so good to know i wasn’t alone way back then

  • MindTricked

    I voted for the video, because although I’d forgotten about the video, I hadn’t forgotten the video, and I haven’t seen any porn ever that’s sexier than the video.

    …

    Or something.

  • Anonymous

    So many issues:
    1. It’s amazing how the music video and its participants live on long after the movie and its “star” Andrew Silverstein are nothing but cinders on the ashheap of history. Andrew “Dice” Silverstein’s career ended after Sam Kinnison’s death–he had no one to steal from anymore!

    2. PornHub describes the porn here as “Brunette teases her neighbor.” Huh? Ain’t that a blonde?

    3. Apparently that naughty little blonde has no problems with visitors from the Thorazine Clinic wandering into her house. Isn’t that the guy who plays the Angel of Death in every movie ever made?

  • dirtybacon

    Yeah, I totally got my rocks off to this video all the time when I was younger. The part with the spluit on the bed was where I often tried to time my shots.

    those were such good times.

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    Don’t open the door. It’s a trap! “Devon” is a 24 years old male from Perverted Justice. & if you try to get with the imagined Devon of an age of minority, PJ is going to have you on Dateline.