Real Sex Vs. Porn Sex: The Battle Rages On

Feb 05, 2009 | Posted by Lux Alptraum in Sex Culture

We've just learned of a new website, "Make Love, Not Porn," which aims to give the porn-watching masses (read: young men) some perspective on what they're seeing and how it relates to "real world" sex.

While we certainly appreciate the fundamental message behind the project (porn is fantasy, and not like real life), we found ourselves a bit put off by some of the assumptions—and misinformation—the site puts forth about pornography (and, for that matter, the real world). Much of it seems to be based on broad generalizations and limited experiences—two things we happen to hate. So in the hopes of encouraging conversation, we decided to throw our opinions into the mix.

Strong start, and one we can't really argue with. Love it or hate it, the facial is disturbingly common in the porn world, and we, for one, would love to see a little more variety.

Here's our first misstep. There are women out there who orgasm via stimulation that is not clitoral in nature. Whether they're coming from internal stimulation, nipple stimulation, or even just thinking themselves off, they're able to do it without touching the clit—and while these women may be in the minority, they do exist.

While the hair-free look has been the norm for years, pubic hair is making a comeback—just ask Sasha Grey, who's been rocking a rather stylish pubic do for some time now.

Not all pornstars do anal—in fact, there are quite a few who don't. More important, for us, is talking about the fact that porn depicts anal as an easy activity that one can do on a whim—we'd wager that if more people understood the amount of work that goes into a good anal session... well, more people would be finding pleasure in anal stimulation.

Again, something we can (sort of) agree on: the kind of sex that people have for the camera isn't always the kind of sex that people want to have in real life—because the kind of sex that you have in real life, that feels great, probably won't look great on camera (as evidenced by just about every amateur sex tape you've ever seen). However, there's still some porno sex that looks hot and looks like a great time, as far as we're concerned.

Okay, we'll give her this one.

Another assumption about porn that we'd like to dispel: there's a lot of porn out there that's not all about dirty talk, and assuming that every time some fucking gets committed to film, a girl is called bitch or whore does a disservice to us all.

See our commentary on anal sex: porn is notoriously bad for leaving the warm up on the cutting room floor.

Also not the only kind of blowjob that ever makes its way on camera. Putting forth the assumption that all porn promotes aggressive, violent sex creates a very limited view of the possibilities of sex on film.

If there's one thing that years of near constant porn watching have taught us, it's that there's no one way to have sex in porn. Different performers have different styles, different directors shoot different types of scenes, different genres play up different experiences. Referring to porn as a monolithic, undifferentiated mass doesn't do anyone any good—in fact, it's about as bad as assuming that every lesson learned in a porno can be applied to real life.

· Make Love, Not Porn (makelovenotporn.com, via blog.babeland.com, also seen at BoingBoing)
· Thumbnail images via Digital Playground and Share Adult

Tagged in: Sex Culture, Straight, Websites, Sex Advice, Cindy gallop

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