February 4, 2009 | 10 Comments

Ex-Masturbator: The New Ex-Gay

Forget the ex-gays, ex-masturbators are the next new thing in Christian repentance—and they even have their own t-shirts!

We’re a little skeptical of this whole movement fad, but we’ll let it run its course. And if there are any ex-ex-masturbators out there… well, you should know that we’ll always be here for you.

· P4CM PRESENTS “EX-MASTURBATOR” CAMPAIGN (p4cm.com)

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Author:Lux Alptraum

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  • Anonymous

    Does this mean I’m going to have to masturbate twice as much to make up for these slackers? Well, if that’s my cross to bear, so be it.

  • Hetairai

    LOL! What a waste.

  • WalterPater

    A couple of times in his crazy Red State youth, Princess attempted to give up masturbation and porn. Suffice it to say, the experiment was not a success.

  • bdve

    I’m an ex-ex-masturbater. Longest hour of my life.

  • Anonymous

    This clip made me so sad. All these hot people talk about how they feel “empty” and “guilty” after masturbating. Imagine how awful that must feel. Now, is it wrong that I enjoy their frequent use of the word “bondage?”

  • Anonymous

    One of these days this country is gonna grow up…

  • Anonymous

    “1 Corinthians 6:9″

    Can I get that on a t-shirt?

  • the magic conch shell

    i wonder what kind of strange irony it would be if someone were to masturbate to that clip…

    /universe implodes

    or

    /cat dies

  • Anonymous

    Skepchick has t-shirts that say, “Ex-Masturbator because only the priest can touch me there”, which I found pretty funny. [skepchick.org]

  • bidonnamarie

    I have a question. If I don’t masterbate what do I do with my hands????????

    Hugs and Kisses
    Donna Marie