January 24, 2009 | 17 Comments

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Jerked By An Angel Edition

Unless performed on oneself, the handjob is the toughest of the marital arts. Therefore the notion of a “Fantasy” handjob made me think of Cthulhu (the tentacles!), Grimace, the Archangel Gabriel, or a unicorn.

Hookers do this thing – they learn it at hooker camp – where they can successfully execute a handjob in, like, 30 seconds. But in real life, as in porn, the handjob must be magical.

Notice I didn’t say “singular.” I said “magical.”

That is why I’m asking you to come up with a fantasy character you’d most like a handjob from, and why. The Hamburglar? Sure. But why? Radagast the Brown? Sure. But why? Tracy Scoggins? You get the idea.

· Hundies (hundies.com)
· Buy “Fantasy Handjobs 7″ (gamelink.com)

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Author:lank

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  • hodayathink is walking in the glow of love

    Hey, when can we get a meet-up?

  • Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

    Tinkerbelle! Hot lil blonde who was always a lil naughty and skanky! The only guy she ever hung around thought he was a lil boy so she is hungry far a real dude! Bonus: To her, my cock is fucking huge!

  • jojowasher

    only one choice, Jessica Rabbit!!! she is farking hot!

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    Easy. Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess with four arms and hands. It’d be like going home with two women, but only having to buy one the lobster dinner.

  • Anonymous

    Do handies on chicks count? Because I choose John Cusack’s character from Being John Malkovich. He’s a puppeteer with strong and nimble fingers.

  • hodayathink is walking in the glow of love

    The T-1000 from Terminator 2 (when it’s shaped like a woman, of course). Because I’d love to see what she could turn her/its hand into.

  • MalzyWheels

    I have always had this unnatural infatuation with Kim Possible and would love to get a handjob from her. First off, she’s a red head, and that’s incredibly hot. Secondly, she’s a 2×4, and her skinny body is athletic and amazingly flexible. I know that only one small part of her body would be working me over, but the carnal knowledge of the rest of her lithe frame would just increase the pleasure 100 fold. But the piste de resistance is that her theme song is “Call Me, Beep Me, If You Want To Reach Me” – she’s all set to be a professional.

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    If I were gay, I imagine I’d probably pick Edward Penishands (from the porno spoof). It would be a bit edgy, he’d look like Johnny Depp, and it would basically be an multi-cock swordfight. Plus, the whole thing could be filmed, and Tim Burton could direct.

    But since I’m not gay, I’ll have to get back to you for my actual choice.

  • BeautifulAgony

    Well, if women can play too, then I’d like to throw in my suggestion of me getting fingered by Worf from Star Trek:TNG…

    The guy’s got great hands, and his growl is very… *shiver*… yeah…

  • Anonymous

    Eve, because everything was better in the Garden of Eden.

  • Anonymous

    TRACY SCOGGINS!! GET OUT OF MY MINDDDD!

  • hatey

    Tom Servo from MST3K. Why? Because I just really like his personality.

  • Radkeen

    Have to agree with the choice of Jessica Rabbit. Although the old She-Ra character was a hottie too.

  • dirtybacon

    I would like a thandjob from Snuffleupagus… well, I guess more of a trunkjob. All that fur just looks like it would tickle and feel just right.

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    The drug-czar nominee’s daughter in Traffic… She’s done worse for drugs.

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    How about “The Fastest Hands in the West”?

    You’d need plenty of lube, and, well, you’d need to be gay too, I suppose…

  • Gram Ponante

    This one was very tough.

    Lakshmi, Worf, and Snuffleupagus all speak to the idea of being serviced rigorously, but Tinkerbell, on the other hand, because your parts would look massive, edges the other three out because I’d think she’d believe in it more.

    Hodyathink: The Meetup would be in L.A. But I think it needs to happen.