“We’re stuffing more things than stockings this Christmas,” crows the pitch for this release featuring the biteable Tyla Wynn. All right. We’ll take that. But you can do better.
Can you come up with a better tag line for a Christmas porn than that? Do what you must: sexualize the Virgin Mary, give Santa a prodigious wang, plague Rudolph with an unseemly discharge, refer to a 69 that never happens, but take back Christmas from the captains of industry and return it to the carnal ice orgy it once was.
(And “Spirit of Christmas Assed” is taken.)
Since you are already bowed under the weight of familial pressure this time of year, we won’t ask you to measure up to the Brobdingnagian efforts of last week’s winner, but we’d like to see something by St. Stephen’s Day. Something, Kevin, OK? We pay all that money for college and you come back looking like this? Oh wait. We’re doing it again.
· Anarchy Films (anarchyfilmsdvd.com)
· Buy “Very Creamy Christmas” (gamelink.com)
