Teen Seduction: Couples Still Doing It

If I were Yakov Smirnov (and who says I'm not?) I might be tempted to say, "Those couples are always seducing teens ha ha ha!" Indeed, through ten segments of Pink Visual's almost-believable "reality" series in which porn stars pretend to be real people, it sometimes seems just about plausible that those May/July seductions actually happen.

College student Tori Black sells raffle tickets for her basketball team to couple Marcus and Devinn. With the lengthy setup we know that healthy, All-American Tori will end up selling just a little more to the ravening oldsters but, in porn terms, when we know that everything has already been signed for and payment arrangements agreed upon, this extended dialogue scene is almost a seduction in itself. After all, rarely do porn performers spend too much time on camera together not fucking.

Later, perennial favorites (if I were Yakov Smirnov, I might call them "perineal favorites" ha ha ha!) Ethan Cage and Lexi Lamour - an actual couple - approach delicious Tatiana Kush at a park on the premise of scouting locations for a movie. They get her home pretty quickly. Frankly, I would believe anything Lexi Lamour ever said.

"Here's a new experience you can have," she tells Kush, the aspiring actress. I think Kush and Amber Peach should wrestle.

Later, they pull the same scam on Nicki Flame, this time appealing to her love of horticulture. Then: Marie McCray (something about dogs).

If an alien (from Space, not Yakov Smirnov) were to view just one porn movie, and if that movie were "Couples Seduce Teens 10," he could be forgiven for assuming that Porn Valley is full of couples on the prowl for easily-convinced teen flesh. Let's hope that life imitates art in my neighborhood.

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· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Couples Seduce Teens 10" (gamelink.com)