"Tunnel Butts" Proves That Anal Is Never Lost In Translation

To be quite honest, we’re never that sure what to make of European directors working in the American porn market. For starters, they come from cultures where sexuality is viewed far more liberally, so things that we might consider extreme or super filthy tend to be little more than run of the mill sex acts to them. Such is the heavy price we pay for our Puritanical roots (though on the flip side, they do give us wonderful taboo kicks when we violate them). There’s also the matter of that whole language barrier thing, previously seen with Evil Angel’s “Fresh on Cock.” Such is the sad case, in our humble but esteemed opinion, with the latest title directed by Chris Rolie for Jules Jordan Video. Don’t get us wrong—there’s a lot to love about “Tunnel Butts.” After all, the release stars big booty cuties Melissa Lauren, Kaci Starr, Jamie Elle, Kelly Wells, Adrianna Nicole, Jaslin Diaz, Heidi Mayne, Cassandra Cruz, Ricki White, and Mason Moore taking hearty helpings of cock in every hole, with seven scenes running nearly three hours (this is a massive release, people.). Still, even with all that action, the title just leaves something to be desired. Not to sound like Andy Rooney or anything, but what exactly are “tunnel butts” anyway? Are these the butts that runaway slaves like Fredrick Douglass and Harriet Tubman once used to fulfill their sexual desires while fleeing slavery via the underground railroad? Or is this a puerile reference to the anal proclivities of our zaftig, callipygous starlets? We can’t make heads or tails out of some of these threeways! In the end (pun fully intended), we’ve learned that, no matter how mangled the etymology of pornographic idea might get, the enjoyment is still the same—so long as it’s not Japanese tentacle porn. Rolie gives us a delicious display of riches by way of Jules Jordan, and offers up the ripe and juicy derrieres of voracious starlets out to earn a name for themselves. That’s something we’re grateful for in any language. · “Tunnel Butts” (julesjordanvideo.com)