October 30, 2008 | 39 Comments

Nominate Your Next Supreme Commandress

Two years ago, you, the people, selected Joanna Angel as your Supreme Commandress. In her tenure as our great leader, she has served us well, producing many hot movies (and getting naked and sexy on a very regular basis). But with another election quickly approaching, it’s time to make a decision: should the incumbent Joanna Angel remain in her post, spreading porntastic good will on the behalf of the great nation-state of Fleshbot; or are you, the people, hungry for change, and eager to elect a new leader? We’re soliciting nominations from now until Sunday; polls will open this Tuesday. So tell us: who would you like to see in charge?

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Author:Lux Alptraum

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  • dirtybacon

    I think this position should be like the supreme court, where when you are nominated you are in for life… unless you REALLY fuck up.

    So, she retains the name, but we vote another onto the board…

    But that’s just my opinion.

  • dirtybacon

    I’ll get the obvious ones out of the way:
    Nominate:
    Sasha
    Stoya
    Lux *cough brownose cough*
    Eva
    Gianna
    Jenna Haze
    Keeley
    Lucy Pinder
    Gina Lynn

  • Anonymous

    ^nailed it

  • CloudCarrier

    As it’s been a rough year for everyone, non-adult oriented entertainment exclusively, who better could lift us up from our lubed haunches and carry us into the uncertainty of the looming future? While a veritable newcomer such as Stoya could provide a steel-eyed outlook on 2009, she feels untested, especially when that 3a.m. phone call rolls in. Gianna could carry us to safety above rising flood waters with her ginormousness on both ends, though her physical prowess could threaten the meeker superpowers that just want to send us more European babes to compete for our unsteady and devalued dollars. And while I do respect Ms. DeArmond, her rein over the Internet writ large probably keeps all her hands, fingers & toes occupied with less time to preside over, say, The Tissue Packet Act of 2010, or even the unfilmed Pirate movie sequels. While even more starlets are continuing to further their soon-to-be supreme powers among the annals of higher education around the globe (Bree Olsen, we love you come back), it’s only Joanna that truly understands the plight of the porn consumer from all branches – from star to shelf, from coaxial cable to wireless device, all the way from the glossalia of print to the shiny plastic dvd and back through the .mpgs of the future. I don’t believe that there is anyone else who has the guile, the wit and the sexiness to pull all of those off, with both an ease and ferocity that would cut all of her opponents down (if she fought to kill, that is; thankfully, she fights to fuck). And with that, I present to you my bid for an extension of her term into a third year (like Bloomberg, but waaaaaaaaaaaay better and more believably Jewish), granted upon our current and future Madame Comandress, the inimitable, the one & only!, Joanna Angel.

  • Brian47

    Just like what Mayor Bloomberg in NYC tried recently, I move to extend the term limits so we can keep Joanna in office that much longer! :)

    Although Dana would be a damn good successor if we needed one…

  • Gram Ponante

    Joanna has the tools, she has the talent. I think she should remain in office until she seeks to leave it or refuses the nomination, like LBJ. And, considering the tail two-thirds of that commander’s initials, Joanna should only be allowed to step down if she’s ready to buy me off.

  • IDVariation

    Addison Rose
    Ashlynn Brooke
    Eve Lawrence
    Kristina Rose
    Lexi Belle
    Nikki Rhodes
    Rebeca Linares

  • WalterPater

    Two other names that deserve consideration, but which have not yet been mentioned:

    Kimberly Kane
    Justine Joli

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    Personally, I am quite satisfied with Joanna Angel’s performance as F.S.C. over the past 2 years. However, I am also of the opinion that if we have the ability to exercise our Pornocratic rights in a free and fair Fleshbot election, then it is imperative that we do so forthwith.

    By establishing a system of regular, biennial elections [/erections?], we ensure that the elected Commandress does not become complacent in her position, as the threat of losing any future campaign will keep her on her toes (and her back, and her knees…), and drive her to perform to the best of her abilities during her tenure in the Oral Office.

    That being said, here is my list of nominees:

    - Joanna Angel
    - Keeley Hazell
    - Annette Schwarz
    - Stoya
    - Sasha Grey
    - Gianna Michaels
    - Audrey Hollander
    - Belladonna
    - Cytherea
    - Lily Thai
    - Aurora Snow

  • Anonymous

    In these trying times, we should reach out — not put up barriers. Stoya clearly has the support of many nations of the world. She has broken the great Canada-Germany divide, and we all live safely under her guidance. A true United Nations!

  • bdve

    Dana DeArmond
    Flower Tucci
    The inimitable Nina Hartley also deserves some kind of honorary position (heh, position). Can you Knight her? She can forever write her name with Order of Fleshbot Empire behind it.

    This is a rough job and it will undoubtedly be handed to a tough woman, but has the title of vice-comandress been considered? You know, should the Supreme Comandress become ill, or need someone to attend funerals, keep people in man-sized safes or for go-to girl/girl sessions.

  • frank.worth

    Sasha Grey. You’ll recall I recommended retiring her title of “crush object” — what better way to do it than giving her the props she deserves?

    I like the “supreme court” idea posted above, btw.

  • JosieJacobs

    i’m a wee bit biased, but i say… 4 for years of Joanna Angel!

  • Anonymous

    Stoya
    Stoya
    Stoya

  • bdve

    Sarah Palin?

  • Anonymous

    sasha grey. no other choice.

  • hodayathink is walking in the glow of love

    Penny Flame. Because who doesn’t love her?

  • MalzyWheels

    The only two starlets, aside from Ms. Angel, who ooozes Supreme Commandress goodness are Gianna Michaels and Sasha Grey. But I think that whoever we nominate, that nominee must then hot oil or jello wrestle Ms. Angel – nude, mind you – for the ultimate prize that is Fleshbot Supreme Commandress. Two Starlets Enter. One Starlet Leaves. We All Get Aroused.

  • HBKnight

    My shortlist of nominess looks like (in alphabetical order):

    Eva Angelina
    Belladonna
    Penny Flame
    Sasha Grey
    Gianna Michaels
    Stoya

  • Anonymous

    Sasha Grey
    Jenna Haze
    Mika Tan
    Lexi Belle
    Veronique Vega
    Tia Tanaka

  • Anonymous

    There needs to be a F.S.C. uniform. How am I suppose to vote for F.S.C. if I don’t know who’ll look best in the uniform?

  • Anonymous

    Oh, man, I clearly have some posts to catch up on, but I’m running out the door, so I’ll post my shortlist and then come back later:

    Penny Flame (!!!)
    Dana DeArmond
    Pixie Pearl
    Lexi Belle
    Sasha Grey

    But mostly Penny Flame (!!!). In fact, I’m now proposing that when she is elected, the proper form of her name will thenceforth always include the three exclamation points.

  • Anonymous

    And my nominees are (in alphabetic order):

    adriana sage
    carmella bing
    gianna michaels
    haley paige
    krystal steale
    priya rai
    ricky white
    sara jay
    sunny lane
    sunny wagner
    yurizan beltran
    faith

  • StanleyKant

    Sasha Grey
    and Rebecca Ordieres

  • Anonymous

    Duh. Stoya. Anyone else is just carrion.

  • heidrun

    I was never sure as to why Joanna Angel got that title in the first place. Reading over the entries, however, i realized there was a good reason for it. After reading CloudCarrier’s comment, however, I must deign to end my reply at
    “dude. totally.”.

  • Anonymous

    I think a supermajority would be needed to knock her off her post. My suggestion would be 2/3rds, good enough for the constitution good enough for us. Being that i could never ever vote for an incumbent i feel as though i should put my two nominations in:

    Teagan
    Ron Paul (Kid is NASTY like filthy nasty)

  • Anonymous

    Oh and just to get everything out in the open. If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve.

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    Buck Angel.

  • Anonymous

    Joanna for life!

  • Anonymous

    Sasha Grey
    Stoya
    Gianna Michaels

  • Anonymous

    Justine Joli, oh yeah.

  • Anonymous

    1 word: Stoya

  • Ecks

    I think Sasha Grey is too young, any nominees should be tenured professionals with several years experience in the field and staying power to stay at the top of their profession. Any new starlets simply haven’t shown they have the devotion to the industry, for all we know Sasha Grey could quit tomorrow, and her body of work is small compared to the other powerhouses at our disposal. Don’t be swayed by what’s popular at the moment!

  • Anonymous

    Stoya For Supreme Commandress!

  • Anonymous

    justine joli,justine joli and justine joli!!!!!!I think i made my point clear………..

  • Anonymous

    Justine Joli is the clear choice, ’nuff said!

  • Anonymous

    Justine Joli… without question. She is without doubt the hottest woman around.

  • Anonymous

    Justine Joli, hands down.. Gorgeous, Smart, Funny, the girl has got it all!! She’s your lady!!