Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Bree To Be In You And Me

Bree Olson is like a delicious abyss: sometimes we enter it and sometimes, if we have the means to wipe the sparkles off, it enters us. Today we have three Bree Olson-related products to consider. Two of them are what our cosmopolitan readers should expect by this point, but the other is, well, kind of odd.. . . By now you are very familiar with the mid-range disembodied fuckable body part. Bree Olson has authorized that two locales of her general 20-year-old perineal region be engooped and immortalized in Cyberskin. So her ass and pussy arrived wrapped in tasteful cellophane, both parts ready for a standard-issue vibrating bullet. Both her ass and pussy look as they should, I suppose, but to get a grip on them we are given a stalk of material reminiscent of the brain stem. So fucking these parts is a little like fucking with Ms. Olson's mind. I suppose there are some people who would be excited by this, but I think Bree is already the type of wholesome WYSIWYG porn star whose mind is an open book. Without benefit of the picture and description on the box, though, unwary consumers might be tempted to throw the beeflike Cyberskin Ass and Pussy on the grill to barbecue rather than under layers of socks for furtive retrieval when one's wife and sole breadwinner leaves for work. But whereas the Ass and Pussy are endorsed by - and look to be shaped from - Bree Olson, the third product is a purple sparkly dildo and strap-on harness also endorsed by Bree. The question is inevitable: Is the user, based on the sparkliness, supposed to believe he is being pegged by Bree Olson? The alternative is ghastly. I strapped it on and walked around the front of Grauman's Chinese Theatre with Superman and Spidey, saying "Look at me! I'm Bree Olson and I'm double packing!" · Adam & Eve (adameve.com) · Bree Olson's Extra-long Vibrating Pussy (sensualadvisor.com) · Bree Olson's Extra-long Vibrating Ass (sensualadvisor.com) · Bree Olson's Glitter Glam Strap-on Harness with Dildo (sensualadvisor.com) · Topco Sales (topcosales.us)