When a friend drops by Fleshbot Central unexpectedly and we find ourselves having to tell them that that we’re unable to take a break to go grab a Frappuccino because we’re hard at work, we usually get one of four responses:
1. “I thought that was just a wrench in your pocket! Har!”
2. “I thought you were just happy to see me! Har!”
3. A quick grope, followed by “Doesn’t seem that hard! Har!”
4. A breathy “Well, let me see what I can do to ease your workload …” as they drop to their knees behind our sleek mahogany desks.
(We’re just kidding about #4. We don’t have desks.)
Well, we have had it with all that innuendo and people turning our innocent, Calvinist work ethic into something dirty. But mostly we’ve had it with porn studios using the same sorts of titles over and over again. The last straw came in this morning’s mail: a copy of Mustang’s “Workin’ Hard”. Just look at that cover, people: he’s not even working. In fact, the only thing on that box cover exerting any effort at all is that anemic title–and it’s on its last, feeble legs.
So, if some crazy Greeks can sue to stop the entire freakin’ world from using the term “lesbian” to mean anything other than an inhabitant of Lesbos, then surely we can sue to get pornographers to stop using the word “hard” except when it’s a synonym for “diligently”. Right?
In case that litigation fails, however, maybe we could suggest some other puntastic work-themed porn titles to use instead. We think “Teenage Spreadsheets” would be kinda hot; you may have other ideas. To that end, the Fleshbot reader who submits the best office/workplace-related porn title in the comments below will win free minutes to use in our new Video On Demand theatre, where you can watch “Workin’ Hard” (which is actually a pretty decent film) or any of the other twenty bazillion similarly-named titles in the AEBN inventory. So, um … get to work!
UPDATE: Ilsa the She-Wolf (aka Our Boss) says the contest will drag on for a few more days. So take Will’s advice below: belly up to the bar and send in those titles! There’s a sizable chunk of minutes at stake!
• “Working Hard” (falconstudios.com)
• See also: “She Works Hard for the Money” (YouTube)
