Marital Aid Test Kitchen: The GPilot – G-Spot Stimulator Or Penis Mangler?

2008_06_02_matk.jpgI was skeptical the first time I saw the GPilot … and maybe a bit scared. Despite its claims of increasing pleasure and causing ladies to squirt, the small piece of plastic–which resembles nothing so much as a penis shoehorn–seemed far more likely to cause me pain (and maybe even break my partner’s penis). And the product’s disclaimer, warning that I used the GPilot at my own risk, didn’t help matters much.

But despite my misgivings, I was determined to try the GPilot: the packaging did say (in bigger letters, above the scary disclaimer) that the product had been tested by science. And I trust science.

To start out, I figured I’d use the device on my own. After all, if I was going to break anyone’s penis, it had better be for good reason (for example, a device guaranteed to make me squirt). After generously lubricating the GPilot on both sides, as instructed by the packaging, I inserted into my ladyparts. There was some initial discomfort, but I quickly adjusted to its presence. It was time to take things to the next level.

I grabbed my most realistic dildo and slid it in. With the GPilot in place, the dildo didn’t slide straight in to my pussy as it normally would. Instead, it bent up, pressing directly into my g-spot. And it felt pretty awesome. I played around for a bit, eventually squirting as promised. It seemed like the time to bring in my assistant for additional testing.

After a bit of persuasion–and OK, maybe a little bribery–I managed to convince him to participate in the experiment. Well-lubed, he slowly entered me, sliding his cock along the GPilot. It didn’t break his penis! I figured that was a start.

Sex with the GPilot in was different. Not amazingly better, not horrible; just good, and a bit different. The increased pressure and friction on my g-spot was definitely appreciated, but it was countered by some of the GPilot’s shortcomings. Though we used a lot of lube, the GPilot’s plastic seemed to dry quickly, requiring multiple breaks for reapplication. And though the GPilot opened up some new avenues, it also created quite a few limitations. Hard fucking and deep penetration were definitely off the menu, as was pretty much anything aside from slow, gentle, missionary sex. As for my assistant? By the end of our experiment, his penis wasn’t broken, but he wasn’t all that enthused about the GPilot either. Apparently the GPilot scientists weren’t heavily focused on increasing male pleasure.

I enjoyed my time with the GPilot, but I can’t see myself using it all that regularly. It’s a little too much effort, with not quite enough pay off, to become a part of my regular rotation – but it’s certainly welcome as an occasional addition to my bedroom adventures.

· Pure Fun LLC (gthrust.com)

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  • Snowbunny

    Ah well, at least you didn’t have to go to the hospital.

  • Lux Alptraum

    @Snowbunny: Man, that would have SUCKED.

  • CloudCarrier

    I know it might be worth it for the squirting, but feeling like I had fallen on my keys (penis breakers!) while naked almost doesn’t seem worth it. On the other hand, with a few changes to the copy, PureFun LLC could market these things to car washes and gas stations, stacked right next to the air fresheners, with a note bearing the words “NOT SAFE FOR VEHICULAR USE – EVER”. Feel free to copyright “Penis Breakers” while you’re at it, PureFun, as my gift to you!

  • Snowbunny

    @Lux Nightmare: “So what exactly is the problem?”
    “Uh…we were having sex with an internal guide and, uh, now he’s stuck and I think, judging by his screaming, broken.”

  • Lux Alptraum

    @Snowbunny: Yeah, I think that’s why they tell you to take it slow.