Blame It On The “Rain”: Intermittent Squirting Ahead

In our private correspondence, you have often told me that squirting has a certain "majesty." "It seems like they're giving back," you said. In performer/director John E. Depth's "I Make It Rain," in which he plays a sex therapist to Charley Chase, the countertransference begins almost immediately--but one must look very closely to find the squirting.

Sometimes male performers can't perform, and are sent home. But women with an advertised talent for squirting sometimes don't squirt. In such cases they stay right where they are and the movie changes around them.

I make it rain / Who make it rain? / I make it rain/ Ooooo! announces the theme song to "I Make It Rain."

Why Depth is a sex therapist in this movie is unclear, as Chase knows everything she needs to do. Maybe her health insurance allowed her more sessions than she actually needed and she decided to use them all up, the way I did when I got that gift certificate to Claim Jumper and ate all that food just so I wouldn't appear ungrateful.

Squirting came to the fore in the western world's mind with the advent of Cytherea, who was a slip of a thing. But Depth chooses women who are a bit thicker, like Chase (pictured)), Flower Tucci, Jada Fire, and Cindy Crawford, and that makes all the difference.

But Chase does not erupt volcanically. "There it is! There it is!" cries Depth at one point, but it seems more for the benefit of fraud lawyers.

Still, Chase has a smoky, scratchy Brenda Vaccaro voice, which makes up for a lot. I think Depth, deprived of such a graphic display of squirting, fell in love instead.

· John E. Depth (itsabigblackthing.com)
· Buy "I Make It Rain" (gamelink.com)