April 28, 2008 | 6 Comments

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Sustainable Fucking With Good Clean Love Lube

2008_04_28_matk1.jpgAs with so many things in life, a good lube can be hard to find … especially if you’re looking for a lube that’s able to multitask. Some of the best lubes for butt sex can leave your lady parts less than happy, and a great handjob lube might not seem so great once you’ve switched to oral action. And let’s not even get started on the complications that arise when you bring silicone toys into the mix.

To really rate high, a lube should be thick but not too thick, long lasting, easy to clean up, and pleasing to the taste buds. Oh, and it’s also good if it’s glycerin and paraben-free–you know, so it won’t give you some kind of crazy infection.

For years, Maximus has been my gold standard lube: it’s water-based, glycerin-free, and has never done me wrong in the bedroom (except, sadly, when it’s gotten in my mouth–the taste leaves more than a little to be desired). But now that I’ve discovered Good Clean Love, even Maximus has lost a little of its luster.

2008_04_28_matk2.jpgManufactured by a woman-run company based in Eugene, Oregon (also the manufacturers Babeland’s organic lube, Naked), Good Clean Love lube is made of all-natural materials (aloe! Cinnamon sticks!), and is free of parabens and petrochemicals. Which, quite frankly, wouldn’t mean much to me if it weren’t also an amazingly good lube.

Yes, kids, sometimes the hippies are right: though deodorant rocks are a bit of an epic fail, Good Clean Love may just be the best lube I’ve ever used. Thick yet fluid, delightfully long lasting, and, best of all, with a flavor that actual tastes okay, Good Clean Love passes all my tests with flying colors. Whatever your style, whatever your pleasure, Good Clean Love is great way to decrease the friction and make your love — or at least your lust — sustainable.

· Good Clean Love (goodcleanlove.com)
· Buy Good Clean Love (babeland.com)

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Previously: Marital Aid Test Kitchen Archive

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Author:Lux Alptraum

View all posts by Lux Alptraum →
  • Furry Girl

    Nothing personal, Lux, but Good Clean Love is, in my book, the Suicide Girls of “hippie” lubes.

    Good Clean Love knowingly and purposefully lies on their packaging by deceiving customers about what the real product ingredients are. Good Clean Love lubes say on the packaging that they are 100% vegan, but upon calling the company because I wanted to carry their lube, the owner admitted a little secret to me: the product actually contains milk-based ingredients, and she just puts the “100% vegan” line on the product because she feels like it. The woman who owns the company was so incredibly condescending about it, too- talking down to me like *I* was the asshole for believing that “100% vegan” has to actually mean 100% vegan.

    I know that a smidge of milk on one’s lube is not something that most people care about, but why buy sex products from a company that happily lies to customers about what’s in its products? Aren’t their already enough shitty sex products out there with unknown ingredients made by slimy unsafe companies that only care about making a buck?

    (What if someone had a severe milk allergy and got a horrific rash on their genitals because Good Clean Love lies about their ingredients?)

    Good Clean Love is not an ethical company and they do not deserve anyone’s money.

  • Lux Alptraum

    @Furry Girl: No offense taken at all. I had no idea about any of this, and am very glad to be educated about this.

  • Lux Alptraum

    @Furry Girl: Also, feel free to recommend lubes that actually are vegan!

  • Anonymous

    I’m not even as worried about “milk allergies” as I would be about having cinnamon anywhere near my genitals. That shit is a major irritant. I hate how “natural” translates to “burn the shit out of your skin” 99% of the time.

  • Anonymous

    Comment on Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Sustainable Fucking With Good Clean Love Good Clean Love knowingly and purposefully lies on their packaging by
    deceiving customers about what the real product ingredients are. Good Clean
    Love lubes say on the packaging that they are 100% vegan, but upon calling
    the company because I wanted to carry their lube, the owner admitted a
    little secret to me: the product actually contains milk-based ingredients,
    and she just puts the “100% vegan” line on the product because she feels
    like it. The woman who owns the company was so incredibly condescending
    about it, too- talking down to me like *I* was the asshole for believing
    that “100% vegan” has to actually mean 100% vegan.

    I know that a smidge of milk on one’s lube is not something that most people
    care about, but why buy sex products from a company that happily lies to
    customers about what’s in its products? Aren’t their already enough shitty
    sex products out there with unknown ingredients made by slimy unsafe
    companies that only care about making a buck?

    (What if someone had a severe milk allergy and got a horrific rash on their
    genitals because Good Clean Love lies about their ingredients?)

    Good Clean Love is not an ethical company and they do not deserve anyone’s
    money.
    Please add this response:
    Hi- to Lux and the furry girl comment-
    Thank you for your kind review of our lubricant.
    I just want to clarify a couple of the issues here about lying about our
    ingredients and the 100% vegan issue-
    First off, we redid all of our labels to reflect the .01% lactoperioxidase
    ingredient in our product. Our labels now
    read 99.9% vegan. I am sorry if the conversation about the .01% milk
    derived enzyme felt condescending- it wasn’t meant to
    and could have just been the end of a long and frustrating day. We were in
    a lot of hot water with other stores with that mislabeling too. We use
    that lacto ingredient in there because it is a great enzyme system that
    continuously preserves the other ingredients in the bottle. It is better
    than the alternative which is parabens (and shows up in breast cancer
    tissue) and heavily petrochemical. We are currently searching for a
    replacement for benzoic acid, which while a food grade preservative, is also
    not the best. But here’s the thing preserving water based products is
    really challenging. There are not many viable options. We are always
    researching and working to make it better.
    As far as the cinnamon comment goes- we use cinnamon and vanilla in a base
    of water, like tea. So it doesn’t burn like products that use essential
    oils of the same. I have heard reports that our cinnamon lube is slightly
    warming. If you have sensitivities I would stick with the almost naked.
    As far as the hippie thing goes- not sure, I do live in Eugene and have
    four kids, a dog and two cats. I eat like an omnivore, vote progressive and
    try to make the world a bit more loving. Is that hippie?
    thanks again for the great review Lux.

    Wendy

    Good Clean Love
    1891 Lincoln Street
    Eugene OR 97401
    http://www.goodcleanlove.com
    541-344-4483

  • Furry Girl

    Wendy- I don’t really care if you’ve claimed to have re-labeled your products, it’s the point that you purposefully mis-labeled them in the past. And, even if you claimed to offer a vegan version of your lube in the future, why on earth should anyone trust you? You already have a track record of lying to your customers about the ingredients in your products, and you’re not even apologizing for it. You’re just justifying it because you prefer using certain animal-based preservatives.

    Even if someone doesn’t care about the vegan issue (and most people don’t), why should they buy a lube from a company that admittedly deceives its customers about what’s in its products? Lots of products aren’t vegan, and I don’t care to complain about them online. The point is that you knew full well that you were mis-labeling your products and lying to customers, and you did it anyway. I don’t personally buy products from, or carry products made by, companies that engage in deceptive and unethical practices. It’s not some extremist *vegan* thing, it’s a *lying* thing.

    (By the way, there is no such thing as “99.9% vegan” if you’re trying to market your lube to vegans. It’s like saying your lubes are “99.9% kosher and only .1% bacon”, and then trying to sell your products to a kosher market.)