What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Rest Your Bones Edition

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? Rest Your Bones Edition Poor Majority-Challenged Blackzilla: the load he carries is so onerous that he often has to lay it down on your hot wife. Problem is, sometimes she is frightened and/or partially blinded and can’t provide the weary traveler with any hospitality. It must be his opening line.

Can you be like last time’s winner, hebear mcghee, and think of a worthwhile alternative to Blackzilla’s plaintive request of “May I drape my cock over your right eye?”? We can’t bring ourselves to type (or even copy and paste) the title again, but there’s a copy of the DVD for s/he who comes up with the best one.

· Shane’s World (shanesworld.com)

· Buy “My Hot Wife Is Fucking Blackzilla 13″ (gamelink.com)

Tags: *This week in porn titles, blackzilla, Contest, Milf, Ponante, Straight, uncomfortable porn stereotypes, WWFRD

Author:Gram Ponante

Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist, and has been a daily contributor to the great Fleshbot since 2005.

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Anonymous

I should warn you that I am a somewhat unconventional optometrist.
Tracer_Bullet

“Chin Nuts!”

“Dick to the eye!”

“Skull Fucking Gone Wrong”

Hill-Rod (I don’t know how it works, I just like saying “Hill-Rod.”)
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“Well, what did you expect? it IS subway’s footlong for $5 sale, Maam!”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“Well, my momma said you put a STEAK on a black eye, but if you insist!”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“So, remember when the agent at World Modeling said being a porn star would be glamorous?”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“That Smell? Oh, that would be my ‘Gram Ponate Citrus Testicle Depilatory’!”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

At Revlon, We’ve redesigned our Applicator to guarantee the LONGEST lashes you’ve ever had!
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

You just realized NOW that your in the Men’s locker room??
Starlton Heston’s Revenge

“Because the first 12 times don’t count”
Starlton Heston’s Revenge

talk about cock-eyed.
Starlton Heston’s Revenge

this doesn’t work as well as the ” if you hand is bigger then your face you’re retarded” joke
hebear mcghee

“My suggested treatment for your amblyopic eye is to wear my cock for 2-3 weeks.”
pvaras

Kindly remove your face from my cock, ma’am.
zipper

“Doctor, does this look normal?”
thelushie

“Hey! This isn’t what I signed on for!”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

“May I show you all there is to know about The Crying Game?”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

Best spoken in front of a phat 90′s beat…

“Here’s the hot rod / Twelve inches to a yard and have ya soundin’ like a retard!”
bleeble

“One Eye for the One Eye”
RazerX

This cock is measured in Hours,not Inches!
jp182

“Honey I know you can’t see well so…” “..can you see it now?”
Anonymous

white girls with tiny faces
Anonymous

She must be the “Phantom of the cock-era”
Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

@Starlton Heston: FTW.

I shouldn’t even bother. It’s too bad this isn’t scat-porn, though, since a logging-in joke would work great.
Anonymous

“Blackzilla versus Mouthra”

“My Newest Piercing -or- I don’t think I can get that bone through my nose”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

“There’s nothing to be worried about, baby. As you women say, size doesn’t matter, right?”
MalzyWheels

“Trust me, this is how we measure skin divers for the correct snorkel size. I can see you’ll take one even bigger, but while you’re down there..”
mizmoose

I can’t believe nobody has made a “Dead-Eye Dick” joke…
André Roussimoff

“That bastard gave me glaucoma.”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“Wait, My agent said this is a ‘HEAD ON’ Commercial” “Well, I’m applying it directly to the forehead….Head on, Apply Directly to the Forehead…Head On…Apply Directly to the Forehead…..and count your blessings this isn’t a commercial for ‘Torgo’s Executive Powder!”
Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

“Swiss Colony Beef Log…Its not just for Christmas anymore!”
CloudCarrier

“Rent to own, baby!”
“*(horn toot)*”
“My GPS is the best!”
“Think of the children!”
“I don’t want your pity, I just want you to embrace this humongous black penis.”
piggythewonderdog

It’s all fun & games until someone gets an eye poked out.
Anonymous

“Blackular Degeneration”.
piggythewonderdog

My submarine has just reached dock. It’s time to let the seamen out.
piggythewonderdog

Skip the Botox treatment, I’ll stretch those wrinkles out for ya.
Anonymous

“Oh, hi honey. What black cock on my face?”
worthless

Girls Gone Wild: Chernobyl Spring Break!
bleeble

“Pleased to meat you – hope you’ve guessed my name!”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris’s sack-dance…: Really? …. Really?
Anonymous

“Are you sure this is how you play Twister?”
“Yes. Now, come on. You have to put black dick on white, or I win.”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

“Trust me, this will look GREAT in next month’s Vanity Fair.”
joneez

No, the tattoo says “welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day.”
1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

WWFRD in the style of William Carlos Williams….

THIS IS JUST TO SAY
by 69b

I have stuck
my cock into
your right eye

which you
were probably
wanting
to see with.

Forgive me
my cock is large
so meaty
and so uncontrollable.
Gram Ponante

@MexicanBeeMan: Ahhhh HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Way to switch it back to the white girl without appearing politically incorrect! WINNER.
Gram Ponante

(I will say, also, that these entries are superb. Veggieburger was the winner untilk the Mexican Bee Man came along, and then there was the William Carlos Williams. Holy God.)