March 29, 2008 | 67 Comments

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? A Big Big Love Edition

What Would Fleshbot Readers Do? A Big Big Love EditionAnd this we know: when you’ve got the word “Gigantic” on a porn boxcover, the consumer believes the adjective modifies body parts. This week’s contest might be a little Mad Libs-y, but what is the most incongruous thing you can think of that would follow “Gigantic”? Take your cue from last week’s winner, bleeble, who thought to add a multicultural element to our posting worldview (which caters almost exclusively to Latvians).

· (See the Real Title) (gamelink.com)

Previously: WWFRD? Archive

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Author:Gram Ponante

Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist, and has been a daily contributor to the great Fleshbot since 2005.
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  • Tsuru

    My Gigantic Uni-balled Steroid-veined Fuck-em Poles.

    (I just calls it like I sees it…)

    Peace, love, & LPs,
    Tsuru
    [www.tsururadio.com]

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic Eunuchs

  • dirtybacon

    My Gigantic Need To Replace The Love I Lost From A Neglectful Father.

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic Artistic Integrity

    My Gigantic Opportunity To Post Under This Topic

    My Gigantic Font Of Riveted Metal Letters

    My Gigantic Fistfull Of Dildos
    [and its sequel, For A Few Gigantic Dildos More]

    And, last but not least,

    My Gigantic Fear Of Emotional Intimacy

  • naughtyduncan

    My GIGANTIC: an all star tribute to the Pixies.

  • Tits McGee

    My Gigantic Emergency Room Bill

  • Anonymous

    Everything’s been composed so succinctly and poetically… the only thing I have to add:

    My Gigantic UTI, or “You’re gonna wash those between shoots, right?”

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    Gigantic Country on the Baltic Sea.

    (There’s only so much I’ve got in the Latvian humor department)

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    My Big, Fat, Gigantic Greek Dildos

  • Buji

    My Gigantic stretch marks.

  • zipper

    The care and feeding of my gigantic ego

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    My Gigantic Incongruous Pixies Reference.

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    Fuck! naughtyduncan beat me to it. Shit.

  • bmeboy

    My gigantic five-dollar footlong.

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic David Hasselhoff Sculptures

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic emotional void

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Ab Workout

  • bmeboy

    My gigantic homoerotic drumsticks

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Microphones. This is American Idol, right? Right???

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Science Project

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Schwartz

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Suppository

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    @Prof_Derzshowitz: Could have gone with They Might Be Giants: My GIGANTIC Stand-ins for Johns Flansburgh & Linnell.

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic Phthalates

  • thelushie

    My gigantic buy with my economic stimulus payment.

  • Warrington

    My Gigantic Minimalism.

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic turkey basters

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic Graduation Gift From My Sexually Liberated But Odd Mother.

  • hebear mcghee

    My Gigantic Healthcare Reform Initiative

  • Come a little Miroslav Klose You’re My Kind of Man

    My GIGANTIC Grocery List (I knew I should’t've agreed to make soup for our East Asian guests)

  • Munsoned

    The Gigantic Possibility of Head after Marriage

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    @josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris’s sack-dance…: If I were smarter, I would have gone with a TMBG reference, as I have just now realized that my Pixies-related line is VERY congruous with the box-cover image of a topless white girl grinning mischievously whilst clutching two enormously out-sized members.

    But that is why I fail.

  • rad_matter

    Not an entry, but I thought it was a giant yellow snake she was holding before I had a better look. And I was totally thinking of this guy I saw on South Beach with a yellow snake and not Britney Spears.

  • Anonymous

    I just re-read the rules (and discovered I won a few weeks back, who knew?) and, as the venerable Prof_Dershowitz remarked, I realized my answer was very congruous as well.

    Once more into the breach:

    My Gigantic Radishes

  • MalzyWheels

    My Gigantic Dilation
    My Gigantic Need to Overcompensate
    My Gigantic Rubber Dong Fetish
    My Gigantic Void I Need to Fill
    My Gigantic Orgasm Disorder
    My Gigantic Desperation To Be In A Porn Flick
    My Gigantic Freudian Slip
    My Gigantic Aversion To Real Cock
    My Gigantic Reason Why I’ll Never Be A Legitimate Actress

  • thelushie

    My giagantic need for pain.

  • Stewie Griffin

    My Gigantic Episiotomy.
    My Gigantic Anal Fissure.

  • etho

    My GIGANTIC DVD Title Font.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve made an GIGANTIC Mistake

    /Arrested Development Reference

  • Anonymous

    My Gigantic Cock-Tusked Elephant Poacher

  • trialex

    My GIGANTIC model of Alex’s dick

    (I did model for them after all… it’s a 2x scale model!)

  • piggythewonderdog

    My Gigantic Super-delegates

  • piggythewonderdog

    My Gigantic Spitzers

  • fleshbotpdh

    My Gigantic Pain in the Ass

  • fleshbotpdh

    My Gigantic Need to be (ful)Filled

  • Prof_Derzshowitz

    @CaptainCelery: I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but being referred to as “venerable” is by far the best compliment I’ve received yet. Thanks!

    PS: “Xup” was absolutely inspired. Congrats on your win. Did Fleshbot send you your free smut yet?

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    My gigantic picked mushrooms.

    (It’s a Latvian specialty)

  • fleshbotpdh

    My Gigantic Farmer’s Son

    expalained:

    “Latvians are enthusiastic bread eaters, and in many homes, when cutting the first slice from a loaf of bread, the end is called a ‘farmer’s son’. Young women compete to eat this slice, so that they may marry a ‘farmer’s son’ – someone who has their own home and farm.”

  • bleeble

    My Gigantic Latvian Zorbing Ball

    Okay, google – latvia zorbing – I swear to God.

    The first link is the best.

    Just do it, okay?

    And thank you for your support.

  • bmeboy

    the zorbs were very latvian until this week when they showed up on an american car commercial, thereby killing the latvianess of the reference.

    My gigantic air purifier

  • CloudCarrier

    My Gigantic and Overbearing and Overwhelming Desire to Split the Universe, and Therefore the Space-Time Continuum, Into Two Distinct and Nearly Perfect Halves, Thus Brining the Galaxies With Hundreds and Thousands and Millions of Starry-Specked Spurts Berthed In the Now Oceanic Harbors of the Constellations Veloria, Havalina & Olympus Mons, Jettisoned, In Part, by the Formerly Neighboring and Currently Wandering Spacecraft Manta Ray Santiago, With It and All Surrounding Detritus Being Engulfed and Absorbed by the Obliquely Obsidian-Flavored Oracular Orifice Tunneling Apart the Furthest Distance from It to the Sun (Distance Equals Rate Times Time), Run Backward and Forward In an Infinite Miasmic Loop, Finally Funneling the Twin Chasms Into an Obsequious New Partner to the Sister of the Brother of the Originating Impetus, Thy Name Be…”Schlong”.

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Dense Paragraph

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic hope that someone will actually pay for this porn.

  • bmeboy

    My gigantic lutefisk

  • bleeble

    @bmeboy: Fair enough. Zorbing comes from New Zealand anyway.

    I like “My Gigantic Episiotomy” the best.

  • bleeble

    Also CloudCarrier.

  • slyty

    My Gigantic Student Loan Debt

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    Huh?

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    My Gigantic Chances of Winning This Frickin Contest

  • 1000101 is not a number. He’s a free man!

    My Gigantic Number of Posters that Apparently Understand the Meaning of the Word “Incongruous”

    (otherwise known as my gigantic talent for humorous sarcasm)

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Vietnam Flahsbacks
    My Gigantic Tort Action Against My Landlord
    My Gigantic Belgian Grandmother
    My Gigantic lump
    My Gigantic Bonsai Tree
    My Gigantic Breakfast
    My Gigantic Hemp Farm
    My Gigantic Japanese Robot
    My Gigantic Lathe
    My Gigantic Tchopitulas
    My Gigantic Finishing Move
    My Gigantic Brain
    My Gigantic SUV

  • bmeboy

    My Gigantic Contribution to the war effort

  • bmeboy

    good one slyty

    My gigantic internal bleeding
    My Gigantic vaginal tearing
    My Gigantic work-study program

    My Gigantic Pog Case

    My Gigantic waste of a perfectly good vagina
    My Gigantic american apparel skirt advertisement

  • Jonnobot

    @Blackburn Lankershim Had We been consulted, We would have gently but firmly pointed out that just as CloudCarrier was disqualified for misspelling “Velouria”, bmeboy’s entries should also have been for misspelling “Tchoupitoulas”. But We were not consulted.

    You Bogue Chitto types should know better. Shame on you.

  • Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it

    My Gigantic lack of Self-Esteem

    My Gigantic Need for approval from anyone because my parents were never really there for me causing me to rebel and act out making me completely attracted to men who use and belittle me then leave me alone and emotionally drained….or maybe I just like alot of dick…I dunno

    My Gigantic Longing for Bento to get a Gawker Commenters star!

    My Gigantic Roto-Rooter Problem

    My Gigantic ass-welt from participating in F1 Nazi Death Camp Porn!

  • Gram Ponante

    @CloudCarrier: Wherefore your need to sabotage yourself by spelling “Velouria” wrong? Your mother and I think you’re so pretty, CloudCarrier, and you do this to us.

  • Gram Ponante

    @bmeboy: “…tort action against my landlord” is the winner. Holy F’n J-s-s, these were hilarious. And special kudos to those of you who incorporated Latvia, though that was not required.

    Hebearmcghee’s entry (the second one down) was the original winner, because it was both incongruous and funny but also strangely thoughtful with its suggestion of dildos as the cure for our healthcare ills, but bmeboy just provided more (but almost lost with the final two suggestions).

    We are still waiting for our movie partner to hurry up and figure out how to get winners their movies, so if you haven’t e-mailed gram@fleshbot.com with your real name, post handle, mailing address, and written certification that you are at least 18 years old and that mailing porn to you is legal in your community, now’s the time to do it, and we hope to get you your filth before we’re all rotting in our graves.