February 19, 2008 | 63 Comments

Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"

Calling Dr. Love (To Please Euthanize Us): The "Gene Simmons Sex Tape"Maybe we and Terry Gross are not the ideal demographic for the just-now released “Gene Simmons Sex Tape”, featuring a man who appears to be the KISS bassist atop an Austrian energy drink spokesmodel. But as personally repellant as many find Simmons, we can’t help but thank him for leaving his goddamn shirt on.

· “Alleged Gene Simmons Sex Tape Released” (avn.com)

· “Rock Icon Gene Simmons Stars in Sex Tape?” (xbiz.com)

Update: After the jump, view some clips from the ten minute video: in one, Alleged Gene Simmons puts on a condom before entering his lady friend, who then refuses to kiss him. The reader may draw his or her own conclusions as to what that all means.

. . .

See also:

· Gene’s Secret (genesecret.com)

· Gene Simmons and Terry Gross Interview (NPR transcript @ rof.net)

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Author:Gram Ponante

Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist, and has been a daily contributor to the great Fleshbot since 2005.
View all posts by Gram Ponante →
  • HotMovies

    I’ll bet she thought this would be good for her career.

  • drunkexpatwriter

    @HotMovies: How can being a bad hooker be good for her career?

    I could see a sex tape being a plus if she was good at her job.

    But, if I was dude who ran her escort agency and I saw this tape, I’d either fire her or make her take acting lessons.

  • Mark Graham

    Gotta love the Foreigner on the stereo (or was this added in post?). Also, nice to see that Gene didn’t even have the common decency to at least take his pants all the way off before banging this broad.

  • Anonymous

    Gotta love the whole flip flop/bustier combo. I think we need more of that in legit porn.

  • Anonymous

    You guys have it totally wrong. She was probably Gene’s 20th woman that day, and that’s why he’s lacking the passion. He’s exhausted.

    As for not wanting to kiss him…

    He went in for the kiss, and she smelled other girls on him… And turned away because she was hurt that she wasn’t his first. Yeah, that’s it!

    Go Gene!!

  • Richard Lawson

    Her complete disgust with this whole operation is depressingly palpable.

  • Dashiell Bennett

    @Mark Graham: The God of Thunder’s shoes don’t come off for just anyone.

  • fiveinchtaint

    @Richard: Ha. He goes in for the kiss a couple times and she wants none of it. Suddenly, the life of a rock star seems a little sad.

  • Conrad

    @fiveinchtaint:Maybe he has bad breath, hence the gum.

  • mandelion

    Tell me that is the real song in the background. I need some Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is” playing when I watch the premiere rock band god of marketing nailing a chick without a rubber on. I want to imagine he can only get hard with easy listening rock on the stereo. Next time he nails her, it will be with a little Journey “Don’t Stop Believing.”

  • Anonymous

    There was a post about this video about the full tape it’s a virus just a warning I am not having to figure out how to get rid of it.

  • BustyGal

    What? No monster tongue?

  • ChainedKitten

    this is the most awkward geriatric sex ever. That poor girl. You’d have to invent a new word for “shame” to capture exactly the way she looks like she’s feeling. Call your Sex Addicts Anonymous sponsor, honey. This is officially your new “rock bottom”.

  • Anonymous

    I have no doubt in my mind that she’s getting paid. Just awful, uncomfortable sex. Ugh.

  • Fedora el Morro

    That is the saddest thing I have ever seen.

  • phoneslut

    Wow not only is Gene a Snore, but also a Bore. I curse the day KISS ever became unmasked.

    Now when is the Paul Stanley Tranny Tape getting released?

  • TropicalParadise

    @HotMovies: That’s what I was thinking, but if she’s going to do it, why not do it with some enthusiasm. This was just awkward.

  • STARRFUCKER

    The music and candles make this worth it///

  • Jonnobot

    @ Tracie75: details?

  • Anonymous

    That can’t be Gene Simmons because he would never have sex to any song besides “I Want to Rock and Roll All Night (And Party Every Day)” and he definitely wouldn’t be doing it to Foreigner.

  • Superstarsteve

    Everyone in Southern California has those same fuckin shades. Dead giveaway. Gurl has good boobs, give her a A for presentation, D for enthusiasm. I don’t get the sex if you have to pay for it, and get such an unenthusiastic response. To me, it would be a mood killer. But then I’m not used to having to pay for it.

  • Cacafuego

    Her refusing to kiss him (and him wearing a condom) probably means she’s an escort.

  • CloudCarrier

    Lohan goes nude on Monday, Gene Gene flicks us off on Tuesday…will David Spade do a number 2 in parking lot tomorrow? The world WAITS.

  • CloudCarrier

    @CloudCarrier: Stay in skool kidz!

  • Richard Blakeley

    I can’t remember the last time I saw this many comments on a Fleshbot post.

  • Laminar

    She’s pretty hot though, I’d pay her to have open contempt for me.

    Gene and I have similar physiques, I also have a long tongue. The only difference would be that she wouldn’t know that my career has spiraled into self-caricature unless I filled her in.

    Maybe that would get me $50 off.

  • thelushie

    I don’t think I am going to watch. I don’t want to be turned off to sex forever.

  • crooked_teeth

    to the 20,000+ fems whom Gene has banged in his lifetime, my deepest regards for the “sex” that from the looks of it would be the equivalent of a comic book or a microwave dinner.

    And for the world’s most notorious self-promoter: I’m bigger than you are, I don’t pay for it, and now I understand why you flash the tongue right at the outset.

  • drunkexpatwriter

    @blakeley: That’s because in general the only possible comment on a fleshbot post is “Nice tits” and you’d feel a little weird making comments like that all the time.

    If you want tons of comments you need to find a sex tape of Keith Richards smoking his dad’s ashes while banging a Thai ladyboy.

  • momo

    Multi-comment:

    1. Isn’t it great when you find out that someone who represented sexuality in your childhood has a (much) smaller cock than your own?

    2. Why are those hard plastic cereal bowls sitting on her chest?

    3. @BustyGal: Right?

  • Anonymous

    Man,lame sex. But that chick is awesome…..look at those breasts……perfect!

  • Uncle Jerry

    i don’t get hookers. “you can’t stick your tongue in my mouth but you can stick your dick in it…”

  • Anonymous

    Hey, you can’t put a condom on someone’s tongue!

  • Anonymous

    Haven’t read the other comments so someone else may’ve mentioned this, but WTF is up with the flip flops on during sex? Is that supposed to be some avant garde look that I’m too pleb to understand?

  • JustinW

    Is uninspirational even a word? Or uninspirationalful? Because…yeah…this is both of those.

  • Anonymous

    C’mon people.

    While I have no dog in this fight, i.e. I’m not a huge Simmons fan due to the fact that there are different people useing the make up of someone whom they’re not (Eric Carr and Vinnie Vincent had the decency to use their own get up), not to mention I was turned off from KISS back when they had their fifth “Farewell” tour, It’s obvious by her demeanor as well as the poor quality, that this is a set up, pure and simple. Grant it, Simmons shouldn’t have put himself into this situation to begin with, but if any of you have heard him in interviews, he is quite clear on his place in this life and what his part in it is with regards to sex. He’s got to be one of the most honest people I know.

    The only one who is going to lose in this whole deal, and is the most deserving, is this slut who’s making the tape. If Simmons wanted to make a tape, and you all know the marketing genius he is, the quality would have been much better and it would have been promoted as such.

    As to his initial claims that it wasn’t him in the movie, well, would you like to admit that you were set up by a money grubbing loser slut like that bitch? I didn’t think so.

    His money, his cunning and intelligence and above all, his lawyers will make this gash rue the day she ever decided it was a good idea to f**k with the God Of Thunder.

    Say good-bye to your life as you know it, “Elsa”. You’re going to be back in your shitty little hometown working at as a gas station cashier by the end of the year, if not sooner.

    But, you may just have a shot at being in the oh so glamorous world of porn, being the lowlife skank you are.

    Cheers!!

  • praxus

    We all see that he’s just as human as the rest of us. I agree totally with what 13Burn said, that stupid chick is going to be making a living on her back after this trying to set up Gene. No one in their right mind will have anything to do with that girl if they’re smart. He’s still the God of Thunder and Rock n’ Roll, and I’m a still a Kiss fan since 1977.

  • CloudCarrier

    @PCBHo: A quick getaway is key, under these understandable circumstances.

  • Dashiell Bennett

    @Thirteenburn: Say good-bye to your life as a commenter as you know it. It’s okay to have an opinion, but around here we don’t talk about naked ladies like that.

  • Lux Alptraum

    @Dashiell Bennett: It smells like justice!

  • Anonymous

    @CloudCarrier: a quick getaway in flip flops? now, who’s ever heard of that? :) but that would explain why she left the corset on

  • noeljackson

    Gross!

  • -chet

    Wow. That was a horrible video. Poor girl thinks she’s banging a rockstar, and instead she gets a gimp version of Ron Jeremy

    Makes all that talk over the years about his tongue pretty meaningless.

    Horrid.

  • Anonymous

    Why doesn’t she just take the corset off… if its bugging her that much?

  • Cenobite

    It would take a dick the size of Ron Jeramy’s to look big when next to that large gut! Get him on ‘The Biggest Looser’ then we can judge.

  • Anonymous

    How come “I am Mindy” isn’t playing in the background? The only other sex tape that would be worse is if Danicant & Rayhole taped themselves.

  • Steverino

    This is like the time the drummer from Slayer made a sex tape to Journey’s “Open Arms.”

  • GayhawkAZ

    @Steverino: So where’s THAT tape? It could only be a step up from this.

  • Anonymous

    All of these haters, or should say “jealous”!?

    Gene Simmons has always been what he is. He has never tried to fake himself or bullshit, what you see is what you get. I have allways admired that about him, that and his music!

    Good for him!! Bang em all! And in the azz too!!

    WOO HOO!!

  • Anonymous

    OMG, could she be more obviously not into him?

  • Anonymous

    yeah she video taped him screwing her to profit, and he’s a genuis? um yeah ok lol, seems funny to me that this “genuis’” kryptonite seems to be hot young pussy,
    he’s not as smart as half you people seem to think he is lol, if he was he’d know damn well that some of these women would only sleep with him to further their career, or to profit, becuase honestly look at thim, it’s not like he’s a smoking hot stud or well hung in anyway lol, he’s a middle aged man who’s hung like a mouse, now tell me what’s so appealing about that? Not a damn thing!, and you people are calling her the whore in this case? lol so sad, think about it people, He’s gotta waive his wallet around or the fact that he can help her career in some fashion, now that’s sad, and yeah you can tell that she isn’t attracted to him at all and he still fucks her, how pathetic is that!!! lol, Honestly if i was having sex with a woman and she acted like this woman did during the deed, i wouldn’t be able to finish, it would just be such a turnoff to know that im the only one enjoying this lol, but that’s just me, and another thing, she isn’t an escort, she’s a model… And dont tell me that you’ve never heard of a woman putting out to further her career or even a man for that fact, becuase it happens all the time in that sick twisted world of hollywood, so dont act shocked or disgusted with this woman because it isn’t anything that you or your mother or wife or sister or dad or brother’s wouldn’t do also!!!! lol YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE BITCHES!!
    YOU WOULD ALL SELL YOUR ASSES FOR A LITTLE FAME AND MONEY!!!!

  • Gram Ponante

    Whoops. Sorry. It was Wayne

  • Gram Ponante

    (Newton)

  • Anonymous

    OMG I am crushed here I thought all this time .He would be a bad boy in the sack .Hahaha what a snoozer

  • unclevinnie666

    Oh big fuckin’deal people. Gene Simmons fucking some slut, so what, he’s been doing it his entire life. Go Gene go!

  • Anonymous

    What a fucking loser! He has a micro cock ha ha ha! I cant believe the self proclaimed God of Thunder has such a small tool. It makes perfect sense doesnt it…….the constant quest to fuck as many woman as he can, the obsession with money and power. He has small dick syndrome!!! Im practically on the floor pissing myself with laughter. This guys family need to sit down with him and tell him just how much of an arsehole he really is. Shannon ought to beat the fuck out of him. What a pathetic old man. I feel really sorry for the kids.

  • Anonymous

    Ew, when he unveiled that tiny cock I would have punched him in the throat. What a pathetic whore simmons is. LMAO

  • Anonymous

    I did a little investigation work, the TV set is from around 1984 and so is the music by Foreigner. Gene and Shannon didn’t start dating till 1985, so Gene could be telling the truth about the video being decades old. Hell just look at those shoes she is wearing, those look like early 1980′s. Nuff said.

  • Anonymous

    WOW Gene,

    I thought he was this sex GOD of the universe!!! On his family jewels series he brags about the thousands of women he has scored!!! But after I checked this tape out ( and laughed for a bit )I realized he is nothing more than a pencil dick pathtic looser!!! The ones I do feel sorry for are his kids, knowing what their dads sexual behavior is like!!!

    YUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  • auryn

    wow. is that girl really getting paid to give gene simmons the worst blowjob ever? and like, kinda not knowing how to fuck? and wearing those awful flip-flops? those flip-flops ALONE would have killed my boner.

    her tits were pretty sweet, though.

    ps. @ gene’s “tiny tool.” i’m sure it’s not THAT small. his stomach is just HUGE.

  • Gram Ponante

    Now I’ll get my Gawker bonus!

    oh.

  • Anonymous

    he has been paying for sex for decades,well,I should say his touring and record companies,all he has ever done is bang groupies and hookers,is everyone realy that surprised?

  • Anonymous

    With all the exercise Gene gets in the pelvic region, you’d think his ass wouldn’t be so goddamn big.