“Slutty Campus Teens 3”: A Deep Reading (Or, Is She Really Getting a PhD?)

We gravitated toward Pink Visual's "Slutty Campus Teens 3" because we miss those halcyon days of hefty student discounts from the Apple Store and ponchos of dubious provenance on sale at the campus center. But while the cast and crew of the movie were careful to not mention what campus they visited, telltale clues—palm trees, actual weather, real tans and mostly real breasts—suggested one somewhere in Florida.

A quick Google search revealed that the campus where the stalking was done was Broward Community College in the Hanging Chad region of the Sunshine State. One further sign that the movie was not filmed in Porn Valley was that, when asked if she could "suck (her) own titties," a woman named Jessi replied, "Do they reach?" Pornfolk learn that capacity within minutes of getting off the bus in these parts.

A Russian woman named Anastasia, identified by the high school term "exchange student", was my favorite in this condom-only production. Each woman seemed to have been approached as she flipped through a notebook, adding to the verisimilitude, in a deserted area of BCC's campus.

"Most of them are strippers," admitted a Pink Visual employee.

"And not actual college students?" I cried.

"...and not actual college students," she admitted.

It is important to point out that "Slutty Campus Teens" does not necessarily imply that these women are students - just that they were approached on a campus. We don't have their records to verify if they are actually teens, nor can we call someone "slutty" if she has sex for money, but I am kind of hoping that Julie is actually slutty, just in case I'm going poncho shopping down Broward way.

· Pink Visual (pinkvisual.com)
· Buy "Slutty Campus Teens 3" (gamelink.com)

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Previously: Photoplay Archive