Monday Morning After

October 11, 2004 | Posted in Editorial Features by jonnobot


We love starting off our week with a survey of the Sunday news in the British tabloids: it makes us feel so well-rounded! This week in News of the World: seminaked Big Brother contestants and other television stars we've never heard of; a not-for-the-squeamish peek at Simon Cowell's sex life; and a report (which doesn't even get top billing) on the alleged existence of yet another sex tape starring you-know-who, "a sordid DIY production" featuring "kinky group sex and lesbian footage" which we'll be happy to tell you more about as soon as the "three-man consortium" who are reportedly hawking the video to distributors for
30,000 come knocking on our door. (Hopefully they'll take a check. You know we're good for it.)

"Shell shock!/It's Paris the porn movie", "Simon's Sex Factor", and "Jenni's tutu-ly tasty" (News of the World)
"Hilton Cashes In On Sex Tapes" (

Update Since the NotW recycles its URLs every week, the above links don't point to the same stories any more ... but we're reprinting an excerpt from their original Paris Hilton story for, uh, archival purposes.

* * * * *

News of the World, 10 October 2004:

It's Paris the porn movie

GORGEOUS blonde heiress Paris Hilton was last night tipped for X-rated big-screen stardom
as the News of the World revealed she is embroiled in a shocking THIRD porn home-video scandal.

The top-drawer beauty's latest sordid DIY production is said to be the most outrageous so far
involving kinky group sex and lesbian footage.

Our investigators discovered the video
captured on three 45-minute tapes
is being hawked around America for
30,000 by a three-man consortium.

And Paris, the girl who swapped a life of ease for a life of sleaze, is now said to be cashing in on her seedy reputation, negotiating with a major X-certificate studio to star in a feature-length professional porn epic.


According to insiders among the US's massive blue movie industry, she is demanding 90 per cent of all sales and has estimated that she'll pocket a massive
15 million.

Not that 23-year-old Paris needs the money. Her family own the worldwide Hilton hotel chain and she herself is said to be worth
60million plus a vast inheritance to come from the dynasty's
3billion fortune.

Our new revelations are sure to shake her mega-wealthy relatives.

A source who viewed a 12-minute edited version of the latest home video said: "It's the most explicit stuff Paris has done yet."

The first sequence focuses on Paris pleasuring herself on a hotel chair.

She hitches her skirt up around her waist to reveal to the camera that she is not wearing panties before the action begins.

The second scene switches to a girl-on-girl romp
naked Paris captured in a steamy clinch with the daughter of a world-famous pop star.

The two women are enthusiastically fondling each other, using sex toys to turn themselves on.

In the final part Paris romps naked with two men. As one is making love to her she performs a sex act on the other.

Our informant insisted: "It's unquestionably Paris in all three scenes and she seems to be totally enjoying herself in every one." The source said it is not yet known how the footage was acquired. But it has all the mucky hallmarks of Paris's earlier efforts.


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