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Love, American Style We know the thankfully recently departed Senator Jesse Helms was a staunch proponent of federal legislation outlawing desecration of the U.S. flag, but we wonder what he would have had to say about this plucky couple using Old Glory as a bedspread for their amateur porn shoot. After all, the fact that anyone can be a porn star in this great land of ours is surely one of the most cherished liberties we're celebrating as a nation today, isn't it? (fuck-mouth.com - thanks Tits)

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Along with this sexy sexy sexy country we call home, our friends at Lazerbunny are also celebrating their birthday this Fourth of July. the site launched a year ago today. We were hoping to see Fleshbot crush object Baby Sinead jumping out of a big sparkler-covered red, white and blue birthday cake ... but we guess we'll just have to settle for Sandra Bernhard dancing around on a stage with tassles on her nipples. Ain't America great? (lazerbunny.com)

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Yet Another "Porn On The Fourth Of July" Headline While we're taking (most of) the day off today here at Fleshbot to have some intern water balloon fights, wave around a few Roman candles, and pop our big juicy weenies into some nice tender buns, pornstresses like Angelina Valentine and Fleshbot Supreme Comandress Joanna Angel will be ... uh, spending time with their friends and enjoying the festivities too. They really are just regular people, you know. (thenaughtyamerican.com)

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this week in porn titles

Ripped (Off) From Basic Cable: "Dawg The Black Booty Hunter"

The A&E show "Dog the Bounty Hunter" has no porn elements in it whatsoever—yet viewers would probably not be surprised if each and every one of its characters had a porn career, so similar is the demographic. That is why "Dawg the Black Booty Hunter" (and, really, do we ever hear of white booty?) is the most apt porn crossover we have yet to actually see. Now all we need for our double-digit channel flipping is "Ass Road Truckers."

· BNew Porn Order" (newpornorder.com)

· "Dawg" tease on YouTube (youtube.com)

9:30 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Gram Ponante
2,040 views, Comment

sex toys

Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Two Predictions About The Size Of Your Cock

While "Keep your wiener cleaner" is an excellent motto, ask our 12-year-old selves about the last time we jerked off with soap or shampoo to know how potentially painful this gag gift is. Suggested for bachelor parties, what this novelty really says is, "I want to hurt your urethra." Not so with Lex Steele's Big Man XL Steel Cock Ring, however: what that says is, "I want to destroy your enemies."

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8:45 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Gram Ponante
4,333 views, Comment

hardcore

Flesh Flicks: No More Lonely Nights

Like you (right?), we've spent many a night alone at home flipping through porn mags, getting reacquainted Mr/s. Handy, and desperately wishing for a beautiful blonde to magically appear and turn our fantasies into reality. But we always up the next morning cold, lonely, and with cramps in our hands. Maybe we just weren't wishing hard enough? Judging by this video, it seems that sometimes dreams do come true, at least for one lucky young man who happened to find himself living in a porn movie. Maybe we should ask him to do the wishing for us next time ... More »

3:55 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Lux Nightmare
24,924 views, Comment

America Loves Busty Heart! Much of America outside of a certain subset of Boston Celtics fans might have gotten their first eyeful of Busty Heart via recent episodes of "America's Got Talent", but the fact is that the plucky and prodigiously endowed performer has been flopping her ginormous boobs around things like tin cans and beer kegs for years now. All of which amusing enough to watch, of course, even if her knack for self-promotion is really the talent we should all be paying attention to. (bustyheart.com et al.)

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This Week In Bad Taste (And Timing) Sure, there's a lot to make fun of where the Great Alabama Sex Toy Brouhaha is concerned, but autoerotic asphyxiation isn't one of them—contrary to whatever the person who made this YouTube video would have you believe. (Didn't he ever watch that episode of "Six Feet Under"?) More importantly, the minister in question died in June 2007. Dude, what took you so long? (YouTube, via pamshouseblend.com)

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Candice Michelle Gets Even Squeakier Clean We've been spending so much time with those screencaps of Candice Michelle's bathtub adventure we pointed you towards yesterday that our fingertips are starting to get all shriveled. But that's nothing compared to what's going to happen now that a crack babe sleuth has tracked them down to the semi-forgotten 2002 classic "Roomate Wanted", in which Candice costars with former “American Gladiator” hopeful Belinda Gavin ... and furnished us with more video evidence to work ourselves up in a lather about.Let's just say that getting shriveled isn't part of our plans. Maybe it's time we took a cold shower anyway? (sporkfu.com)

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We have to agree with our friends at Guanabee that the new ads for Absolut should totally be referred to as “the female genitalia campaign". Then again, after a few shots of vodka everything starts to look like female genitalia to us, so maybe we're not the best ones to weigh on on this whole subliminal advertising thing. (guanabee.com)

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you, the people

Small Boobs Need Love Too

In the world of porn, bigger is usually thought of as better: big hard cocks, bra busting boobs, big teased hair. But here at Fleshbot, we like to celebrate all sizes — especially when it comes to boobs. And it seems we're not the only ones who feel that way. As severn123 made abundantly clear, a little bit of tit can go a long, long way. For the days when more than a mouthful is more than enough, we offer up a selection of our favorite members of the itty bitty titty committee. They're all beautiful, and not a one over a B cup.

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12:30 PM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Lux Nightmare
19,219 views, 7 comments

Latest by n/a: Can't leave out Belicia, Keri Sable or Addison Rose more »

Abby Winters World Domination It's starting to seem like the Abby Winters girls are everywhere — including reality television. Well, Australian reality TV, at least: an Abby Winters model was spotted on Aussie reality show "The Farmer Wants A Wife" as (what else?) potential marriage material for the farmer in question. The resulting media attention seems to have ruined the girl's chances of wedding the farmer, and we have to admit we're feeling pretty bad for him ourselves. After all, we were at the AVN Expo this year and we''ve seen what those gals are capable of—and those girl-on-girl makeout sessions always lead to nothing but heartbreak. (news.com.au + channelnine.ninemsn.com.au)

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Ashley Tisdale Gives Us A Birthday Present Ashley Tisdale celebrated her twenty-third birthday by going to Hawaii and prancing around in a bikini. It's kind of a coincidence, because our birthday wish was to see pictures of Ashley Tisdale prancing around in a bikini! Wasn't that thoughtful of her? (Click thumbnail for gallery.)

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Catalina Cruz, you've just been named Booble Girl of the Month for the second time. What are you going to do to celebrate this momentous occasion—show us your boobs? That way, everyone's a winner! (avn.com)

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Fleshbot fave Baby Sinead was photographed for a documentary about naked girls and graffiti, which happen to be two of our favorite things. (Actually, three if you count Sinead too.) Can someone tell us when this magical movie makes it to theaters? (babysinead.com)

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Remember Jodie Marsh? Yeah, we'd almost forgotten about her too—you know, what with all those new faces popping up on the lad mag scene every time we turn around. Good thing she went and got herself some brand new boobs to help jog our memories—that will totally help her stand out from the crowd. (celebpunani.com)

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Faye Valentine Goes Mainstream It seems we're not the only ones crushing on Faye Valentine these days: American Apparel has also taken a shine to this lovely freckled redhead, featuring her in several bikini photo spreads under the name Jillian. The campaign seems to be working — we know we're feeling the urge to hit the beach. Faye's going to be there too, right? (americanapparel.net - thanks Jonah!)

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what is reality?

Pornic Voices: Harmony And Dirty Harry In "Tough Love 14"

"My wife hates hookers," laments Dirty Harry, Porn's Everyman, to the neo-Crumb Girl Harmony. "Especially ones who smoke."

Harry has just been informed by a workman that his repairs will not be ready in time for his wife to return, so Harry needs to take out his fear and frustration on Harmony.

"I paid for you," he says as Harmony gets uppity. "I can do whatever I want!"

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1:25 AM on Thu Jul 3 2008
By Gram Ponante
8,634 views, Comment

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